SYNOPSIS:
When five sorority girls inadvertently cause the murder of one of their sisters in a prank gone wrong, they agree to keep the matter to themselves and never speak of it again, so they can get on with their lives. This proves easier said than done, when after graduation a mysterious killer goes after the five of them and anyone who knows their secret.
There comes a time in every girl’s life when she is confronted with the challenges of young adulthood. She receives pressures from school, her family, and maybe even from boys. But despite whatever troubles come her way, she knows that she can rely on her friends, who will stick by her no matter what. Maybe she will even be lucky enough to meet these lifelong mates at college, where upon they can share the load and help each other through various hardships.
Through these tight knit friendships, such as those forged in Sorority Row, these young women can encourage each other to spread their wings and together embark on life’s journey.
Or maybe the girl will meet a bunch of alcoholic skanks instead, who appear to own less pairs of full length pants between them as they do brain cells, and spend their time making out with their identical boyfriends and planning parties. Welcome friends, to the sorority girls of Theta Pi.
Meet Jessica, the ambitious blonde leader of the pack. She is the mastermind behind the prank that accidently kills fellow sorority sister Megan. She basically hates everyone that is not her boyfriend, but is obsessed with the idea of Theta Pi. She says things like “What happened to the tenants of sisterhood??”.
Cassidy is the good girl of the group, who feels that her friends were wrong in dumping Megan’s body down an abandoned mine shaft, but is still nevertheless hunted later on by a murderer craving vengeance on Theta Pi. She is comparatively less slutty.
Claire likes to get naked. In the jacuzzi. In the shower. In the opening scene of the movie, when she yells “Danny, give me back my shirt!” She is Asian American, which as Jessica points out, makes Theta Pi more “multicultural”.Chugs (yes, that is not a misprint) likes to drink and sleep with anonymous freshmen (and her psychologist), much to the mirth of her friends. As her nickname suggests, she always has a drink in her hand and as one of her many companions divulges, tastes like vomit. Safe to say, she is the first to go.
Last but certainly not least, is Ellie (played by a ‘look-at-my-range’ Rumer Willis) who is the clever one of the group, conveyed by that fact that she wears glasses. She seems to carry the most remorse for killing Megan, but not enough remorse to actually do anything about it. Hence she spends most of the movie crying, or gasping for air. Jessica claims that she is “borderline retarded”.
As you can see, Stewart Hendler’s Sorority Row (roughly based on the 1983 B Grade gore fest The House on Sorority Row) borrows from a long line of high school/college horror flicks such as Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer; both in general murder/revenge/ murder plot and in the prolonged scenes of nudity.
In fact Sorority Row is probably rated R more because of the boob fest than the actual violence, which in comparison to most action movies is quite tame. Despite the dastardly premise of a killer punishing sorority girl’s for their evil deeds and Hendler’s obvious love of the jump cut, Sorority Row cannot really be described as a true horror film. It ultimately spends too much time trying to distinguish the girls from each other, and not enough building tension, resulting in the subsequent deaths being anticlimactic (and trust me, I am horrible with scary movies, it doesn’t take much have me cowering in my pop corn).
And yet it isn’t a total waste. To make a film where one of the main character’s names is ‘Chugs’ is to suggests a certain humour about the genre. Like a lot of '90s horror, it appears to parody itself continually, particularly through the character of Jessica who remarks in a deadpan voice “Oh no. Don’t go out there,” and unconcernedly rationalises one of the victim's grisly murders with “maybe he was a dick”.
The manner in which most of the girls die (I won’t wreck it but it’s preeeeetty suggestive) makes it clear that maybe Sorority Row is too self aware to take itself seriously. Not to mention that the sorority ‘mom’ is Carrie Fisher, who totes a shotgun and growls at the killer “Stay the fuck away from my girls!”
SORORITY ROW (2009)
Starring: Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Carrie Fisher, Leah Pipes, Audrina Patridge, Matt O'Leary
Director: Stewart Hendler
Studio: Summit Entertainment
Genre: Thriller / Drama
Rating: R
Release Date: September 11, 2009
Official Site: http://www.sororityrow-themovie.com
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